A Nightmare of a Dream

It happens every day without fail.  I spend all day in torturous rehab, trying to cut you out of my life.  I cling to the idea of our love like an addict looking for a a last fix, just to make the world feel inhabitable once again.  Your pictures on my phone, they must go.  Our mutual friends are lost in the whirlwind of our fallout.  What's left?  Just me and my loneliness, trying to self heal.  It happens every night without fail.  I long for the sanity I once knew. It's nighttime when you finally start to fall into the shadows of my past, I slip out of my thoughts and into slumber, into a nightmare of a dream.  There you are, beautiful, and happy, as if nothing went wrong.  Living as if our love never faded away into thin air.  My dreams are not lucid, I did not put you here.  At this moment, love has consumed me, everything is perfect. It happens every morning without fail.  I wake up and reality strikes as if I have fallen into the frigid waters of a cold river.  I check my phone, nothing.  Only the pictures I haven't deleted, the number still on speed dial, and that awful feeling that I am no closer than I was yesterday.  Am I supposed to let you go?