Daybreak.

Daybreak.
The sun rises, but I don't feel the shine,
I am the result of a faulty design,
When the dullest of stars align,
Nothing more than an empty outline.
What happened to my spark?
Places I knew light I now see dark.
It must be a problem within...that's all I can surmise,
All the cries behind these eyes of my disguise.
Oh! and what a lousy disguise that I chose,
Less than 6 feet but over 250 from head to toes,
Social anxiety that causes nothing but unrest,
Mind runs in circles 'til I am nothing but depressed.
Years of therapy later, 2 relationships past,
Only logical conclusion, this is here to last.
I am defined by my flaws, defined by rejection,
Denied because I can't provide protection.
Or is it my looks? Does it even matter?
When who I am is outweighed by being fatter.
Don't get me wrong, my inside is worse,
My abyss of a mind being nothing but a curse,
I wish I could "get better", this ruins my life,
Any happiness my mind skewers with a knife,
I don't know how to convey this in all my writing,
You'll probably read this, and see another man ranting,
It's hard trying to fit this into rhyme,
Squeezing feelings into one tiny line,
Over and over, time after time,
Always and forever on my upward climb.
Until I fall.
Daybreak.