As the sun begins to rise over the horizon, I am again faced with another feeling of inadequacy. What did I do since I last watched that star start to glimmer through the old dangling branches? Is this why I have trouble sleeping at night? Does it all come back to feeling like I don't deserve to sleep before I do something meaningful? Perhaps that is why I so easily delve into helping others, it is so easy to measure that success. The instant feedback that you receive from others in the form of their gratitude warms my heart in a way that nothing I do for myself ever seems to. My codependency on the world around me makes me sad sometimes, and yet I live a more "loner" lifestyle than your average person. Odd. The feeling that I am earning my keep in this world seems prevalent, as to just have the right to speak means I should use those words to help those around me. I cannot say where this all comes from, but it feels like it's encoded in my brain. Sorry for the "too tired to sleep" ramblings.
Sunrise breaks through,
Revealing my weary shadow,
I fight to stay afloat
In a current of other people's endeavors.
But a smile you will always find,
Somewhere.
Tucked away.
In the last pocket of shade before High Noon.
Because this is who I am.
This will be another day of mine.
I'm going to let it shine.
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